LoveGIRL.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I'm on my way home from Gen + Glen's house after a long day out, and though it didn't really start off well, like zhenyi said, "It's just a really horrible beginning to start off what's gonna be an amazing day!"

In the morning we had NAG, and I, as usual, bowled like crappppp. My average was like 16+, totally fail la!
But what cheered me up were two things.

Firstly and mainly, Alice Val Ame XinTian and Sarah turned up to support me!! Though I feel that I didn't really do them proud, I'm really so thankful to them for coming because I miss all of them so much. <3

Secondly, what helped me to pick myself up for the rest of the day was Gen's love and care. I used to be really afraid of her, I mean I still am, but I guess because I didn't know her, but today she really gave me freaking good words of advice, and though I complained about her hugs, she really is extremely huggable (: They give me a sense of warmth and happiness and assure-ness! Yeah and. What she said and the fact that she pulled me aside to talk to me in the first place really made me realize what a great captain and friend she was! Throughout the entire day she made me feel as if I could do it. Like I grew in confidence and believed in myself again. So Gen, if you ever read this, thanks. It took a little effort on your part but it made a great difference to me today. To me, I think these are moments that I remember the most. <3

Anyway so after debrief and getting powdered, we went to north point, and the odds met me there!! I was genuinely surprised that they all came because I haven't seen them in a million years and ALL of them being in SA doesn't help! But thanks for making the effort to come down guys, I was really touched!

After lunch I headed to Gen + Glen's house to just chill and bond with some of the others! Playing Shoot Shag Marry with Kel Gen and Zhenyi was so funny!! Really starting to love the team so much more! <3

It's been a great birthday so far, but it's not over! The Resonators are at my house now waiting for me to come home I think, I can't wait to see them because I didn't go for church + Resonate last week and I miss them!

Thanks to everyone for making my birthday such a special day, I love each and every one of you, especially Amelia because I know you put in the most effort! (:

Oh and I just really wanna say I'm so glad that Zhenyi joined the team! She's been the one that has kept me sane and stable all this while, and she always knows the right thing to say and do whenever I feel like shit. I'm so thankful for you and I'm sure that without you I wouldn't be enjoying my time in Acjc Bowling so much!! Love you! SISTERS! <3

10:15 PM sprinklinq love Y

Saturday, March 3, 2012

On a really random note,

I MISS YOU ALICIA TAN JEAN YEE!

I miss sitting next to you every day and talking nonsense, not listening AT ALL during Emath and still doing relatively well, laughing at Seet during English because we didn't care about what she was talking about, thinking about what to say to Seet because we didn't do her homework, trying to understand what Miss Ho was talking about because I can't do Amath for nuts, trying to make you talk during SS because you suddenly become the quietest girl in the world and don't say anything, and every other ridiculously fun moment we had together!

I wish I could go to SP with you and do tourism, I really really want to. It'd be like Sec4 all over again, we can do all sorts of crap and laugh, smile and cry together. But I don't know if I should. Whether or not I go, though, please take care of yourself! Don't let another evil dictator like YOU KNOW YOU bully you and push you around. Stand up for yourself and do us proud okay!

I love you Alice! <3

9:46 AM sprinklinq love Y

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,

Bry got his results yesterday, and if I got those results I would be sososososo happy!

But of course, he isn't, because his expectations of himself are so much higher,

so sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

9:40 AM sprinklinq love Y

Thursday, March 1, 2012

I was suddenly reminded of how loving and caring my parents really are, like yesterday when I forgot to bring the stuff for food tasting to school, they went back home and collected it for me. And I was in assembly when they reached, so they waited for me till 7.50! Super nice right!

And like also they really care about my relationships with other people, like unlike many other teenagers and their parents, my parents know all of my friends and all the issues I have with them. And like my parents know that I haven't gone out with Amelia recently so today after I support juniors at bdiv, my dad asked me to relax and go out with Jo and Ame! (:

Really glad to have such wonderful parents, and even though sometimes I get really irritated with them for the smallest and most minute reasons, I'm actually extremely thankful for them.

Also, as mentioned above, today I finally caught up with Jo and Ame! I really miss these two girls, and jc life definitely ain't as fun without them.

6:38 PM sprinklinq love Y

Time may pass, but our friendship will last. <3

10:21 AM sprinklinq love Y

"How can something that's supposed to make you feel so complete, end up leaving you so empty?"

-
So I skipped school today because juniors are bowling bdiv, and I wanted to go and support them.

Also, today is Founder's day, + runAC (2), so I'm not skipping any lessons.

What I'm actually worried about is that I wouldn't have an excuse tomorrow about why I didn't go, but I hope I don't get into trouble or anything. Sigh.

Finally gonna meet Jo today and catch up with her after a longggggg time.

Don't think I've seen her since we collected our results!

Or maybe once after that? Not sure, but whatever it is, I really do miss her!

Went to Serene with Xintian yesterday after our leadership course thingy, and we were just thinking about how we used to do that with Amelia. Especially during o's, after we screwed up our paper or something, we'd just walk to macs and buy an icecream cone, take retarded pictures, and we'll feel alright again.

Words can't express how happy I am that Xintian's in the same class as I am, but I really thank God, because without her, I'd still be lost, and uncomfortable.

SD2's actually quite an amazing class; We all click quite well, and though we all take different subject combinations, we still meet up every time we get the chance to, and we do loads of crap.

Here's hoping that the bond will last, and Fun-O-Rama will be a blast. (:

9:18 AM sprinklinq love Y

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

About two weeks ago, Kitty was leading the message in Resonate about courage,

and he asked us to share about some fears that we keep running away from, because we don't have the courage to face them.

So I shared with Amy that one of these fears was Praying Aloud.

To tell you the truth, I don't really know why I'm scared of it.

Maybe I'm scared that I'll be judged for saying the wrong things or not using the "cooler" words and stuff, or perhaps I'm just not comfortable with telling others what I'm telling God.

But whatever the reason is, I've always managed to run away from it.

People always tell me, "Just pray aloud, because nobody will judge."

But Amy told me something that was really interesting, that I've never heard before, yet I think is absolutely logical and sound.

She said that when we pray, we're talking to God. And God knows if you're sincerely praying to Him and seeking Him. So when you're praying, God may use His powers to stop the others from judging you, because God is almighty, and He can do everything, including that.

Maybe it's just me who thinks it's really interesting and stuff, but whatever, after I heard that, I was kinda encouraged, and I also really questioned myself to think about what's stopping me from praying aloud.

8:29 PM sprinklinq love Y

Monday, February 20, 2012

There's a bridge called Ponte Milvio in Rome, and I think people kinda call it the love bridge or something like that, because couples would go there with a padlock, engrave their names on it, and then lock it to any part of that bridge. After it's securely locked, they'll turn around and throw the key away, to symbolise that they'll never need the key because their love is forever!

SO SWEET RIGHT!

I shall go there one day with my future husband.

Back to reality,

tutorials have finally started!

And I found out a few interesting things!

Firstly, my math teacher is none other than Mdm Leow! Such a coincidence luh hahaha, and it's so paiseh because she was just scolding me in the morning. Oops. But still, it's cool. Hope I don't get on her bad side otherwise I'm screwed during training hahahaha.

Secondly, my gp teacher is Ian's friend! Meaning he's four years older than I am. How cool is that! It was so funny! I went to tell him, and then he was like "Oh, no wonder you look so familiar." Hahaha wtheck, I don't look like Ian at all.

Thirdly, Eileen and I realised that our timetables are almost exactly the same!

Besides the fact that she takes H1 econs, and I take H1 chem, all our other periods are the same!

So on mondays + tuesdays and one other day which I forgot, we stick to each other the entire time. (:

Lastly, I HAVE SWIM PE DIRECTLY BEFORE TRAINING. Swim pe ends at 4.30, the bowling bus leaves at 4.30. HOWWWWWWWW!

Last-lastly, I HATE MASS PE.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Went out with Sarah today and had a good time catching up!

Love you babe! (:

7:03 PM sprinklinq love Y

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Life is gonna be hard, with all these new beginnings.

But it doesn't hurt to look back once in a while, and see that the people who supported you then, are still supporting you now.

Maybe they can't be with you everyday anymore,

but they're in your heart, or they should be.

Because you love Harry Potter so much, this is for you.

Yknow how when Harry needed to go to the idk what forest to look for Voldemort so that he would die? He took out the resurrection stone and talked to his parents, and whoever. They told him, "We've always been here." And they promised to stay with him. That gave Harry the courage and bravery to face Voldermort. So look at your new school as if it's Voldie. So what if I'm not there, so what if you're not happy there yet, so what if you're being forced to go there? It's gonna be hard, and you may fall and stumble along the way, but we're all gonna be there to pick you up and watch you complete this journey, because we have faith in you, that you'll be strong enough to finish this race, and also we have faith in God, that He'll protect you and provide for you everything you need till the end. <3

9:28 PM sprinklinq love Y

Really really thankful for such a great og like Harmonia!

No matter how many times I've ditched them or whatever, they've still always loved me and indulged me when I ask them to play with me and entertain me hehehe!

Don't know how I would have gotten through the first three weeks of school without y'all!

In the short three weeks of acjc life, I've made friends that I already know I'm gonna keep forever.

You may think I'm delusional because I've only known them for three weeks, but whatever.

Harmonia has really been extremely supportive in whatever I've been doing, and I really love them!

Even though we're gonna split up and go for lectures with our classes now, I hope we'll stay close and as tight as ever!

Academics wise, lit has proven to be a really interesting subject and in no way do I regret taking it! Math is hard though, I always find myself a tad lost during letures because I'm lagging behind, but I'm probably going for math tuition, so that'd help me! Chem lecturer's really good, I'm looking forward to chem lessons every week! Physicsssssss. Is a joke hahaha! Started off hating the fact that I was doing physics, but as lectures pass and stuff, I think it's becoming better!

So here's to hoping that I get those 5 A's in two years' time!

Training has been increasingly more fun, and the j1s are getting closer and closer by day!

The group chat is really entertaining, full of crap from all of them.

Lunches together before training are also really funfunfun!

Started taking the bus + car back with Lynette, learnt more about her, so that's cool.

NAG's coming up, same dates as last year!

Meaning that I'm gonna spend my birthday bowling NAG again hahaha!

In all, I think I'm starting to get used to life in acjc.

So that's good, I guess.

Bry's booking out for the first time tomorrow night, how fun!

Haven't seen him in three weeks, hope we won't fight or anything because it's really tiring!

IT'S FRIDAY TOMORROW. NO TRAINING WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!

8:44 PM sprinklinq love Y

Friday, February 10, 2012

Get over your o's results because telling everyone about it and trying to get them to pity you ultimately WON'T help you at all.

6:48 AM sprinklinq love Y

Monday, February 6, 2012

The first week of jc1 life is over!

At first I was gonna blog all about orientation and how much I absolutely love my og,

but today ELL results came out, and just like any other thing I've wanted, I didn't get in.

The only reason I was so happy to go to ac was because of ELL.

Sciences and humanities have never seemed interesting to me, so I dreaded jc life. But when I found out that acjc had ELL, I was overjoyed. I was actually EXCITED to learn.

Now though, since I'm not in, I don't know what to do.

I'm totally stuck. Can't think.

Maybe I'm better off in poly, doing tourism like Alice.

I guess the only thing stopping me from leaving Ac are the friends I've made.

Harmonia has been extremely supportive in everything, always cheering and going crazy.

We've planned on doing so many things together, and throughout orientation we were so close.

Not to mention the other stmargs girls like Xintian especially, and SuAnn and the rest, I was so glad to be in Ac with them.

Xintian and I just had a talk about going to all the performances together, and going to one-north to study after school.

Worst part about all this is that I've gotta decide by tomorrow.

Sigh.

Idk what to do anymore.

6:05 PM sprinklinq love Y

Friday, January 27, 2012

"If I, Your Lord, have served you, then you ought to serve each other." John 13:34

There have been many times where I do something for another person and tell myself that it's because I'm nice, it's because I love the person, and I don't mind doing it to make the other person feel happy. But as I did QT today, I found a whole new reason to serve others. Because God served us first.

Many times when I'm serving others, be it backup singing for church, or teaching sunday school, or baking for refreshments, I always think of it as doing something for that person. But actually, I'm serving God aren't I? Every single note I try to hit, every single story I tell the kids, every piece of dessert I bake, it's all for him. And many times I forget that. I forget that I'm not doing this for the worship leaders or the kids or the congregation. I'm doing this for God. But how many times have I wound up focusing so much on the person I think I'm supposed to please that I forget, it's all about God.

And God doesn't care whether I'm pitch perfect, He doesn't care if I'm doing cool or boring craft, He doesn't care if the food is nice or not. He cares about my heart. And every single time I've served in church, my heart hasn't been right. I've been trying to please the wrong group of people.

Why did I fight so hard not to bake the brownies that day? I don't know. When I had that conversation with Ian, I didn't think about any of this. I just knew that deep inside, I shouldn't be baking it. There was something telling me not to. And maybe it's because my heart wasn't right. I wasn't gonna be doing it for the right reasons. But as the youth sunday approaches, God I pray, help me to know, it's all about You. Help me keep in mind that it doesn't matter how many people like or dislike it, only You matter. I pray that I won't get sidetracked by the approval of men, and forget that Yours is all I need.

12:12 PM sprinklinq love Y

Thursday, January 26, 2012

OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT TO ADD,

I watched A Cinderella Story: Once Upon A Song tooooo!

Basically it's A Cinderella Story 3! (Because Hilary Duff was such a hit and they just had to make two more movies after the first one hahahahahahahaha)

It was quite nice, though everything was expected, but I didn't know Lucy Hale could sing!!!

And her voice is so good! But Ashley Benson's so much prettier though (Probably because she's a blond and I'm biased towards blonds)

ANYWAY.

Soooo last night my internet was down and I was so freaking pissed so I decided to buy the new episode of GG instead of illegally watching it.

It's so ironic how Dan no longer loves Serena yet Serena is doing all she can to make him fall in love with her again because she's finally realised that the two of them were meant to be together! It's like the total opposite of Season 1! Dan used to do all he can to attract Serena's attention but she didn't care, and now HAH, KARMA'S A BITCH.

And it's so sad because Serena was like "With Gossip Girl no longer around, all my relationships are starting to flourish!" And Dan was like, "What relationship? You mean our FAKE relationship?" And Serena'a all heartbroken because she's really enjoying all this time spent with Dan yet Dan's just doing all this for Blair because he's still utterly in love with Blair.

Howeverrrrrr, Blair doesn't give a shit about Dan because she's too busy choosing between Chuck and Louie! If Blair chooses Dan in the end, and Serena is left with Nate, I WILL KILL THE GOSSIP GIRL WRITERS. Because Dan was always meant to be with Serena and Blair with Chuck and Louie can go kill himself which will make Beatrice happy, and since Jenny is banished from all of Manhattan, then Nate can go with... Vanessa. Or whichever woman he wants since Vanessa is younger than him and he tends to go for women twice his age.

And yet again I was ranting about Gossip Girl because I'm obsessed with it.

Hahahahahaha sorry.

12:37 PM sprinklinq love Y

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Recently I've been feeling moody and unhappy and just not as happy as other people think I should be.
I mean, it's the holidays, I should be partying and going out and wtv. But I don't feel like it.

For example during CNY at Jess and Kell's place, everyone else was having a good time playing slapjack and stuff but I just wasn't in the mood to be all high and noisy and happy.

And like for the youth Sunday normally I'd be so excited about it, whether the refreshments or worship or welcoming or anything, but this time I'm not.

It's like every time something fun comes along, my mind drifts back to my 15 points. How I should be sad and disappointed and crying, not just accepting it and moving on.

I feel guilty for it, even though I think I've done my best. I really gave it my all, I really thought that I would succeed this time. But I guess God had other plans in mind.

I don't know what to do about it, maybe I'm just getting tired of putting up this facade all the time.

Maybe deep down inside, I know I don't deserve to be happy.

9:58 PM sprinklinq love Y